Teen Agers and Wants

If you don’t have teen agers, this is still a good article to read. It pertains to wants and needs too!

My 17 year old daughter is going to have surgery next month. Until she has the surgery she needs to manage her pain. Her last trip to the doctor, she didn’t get any pain meds. That night she slept for about 4 hours. Her pain comes and goes but when it is here, she needs something for it. I asked her why she didn’t ask the doctor for pain meds. She told me she didn’t want to cost us any more money. She knows she is costing us a lot and didn’t want us to have to pay out more money.

Two things raced through my mind. The first is “what a horrible parent I am.” The second is “she doesn’t understand that we always have money for needs but often have to do without our wants.”

I apologized to her for making her think that we didn’t have the money for the medication. Then we had a long discussion about wants vs. needs. I told her we don’t have money for her to go with her cheerleading team and stay at a hotel overnight for a game. But I did have money to pay her medical bills. I don’t have money for her to roam around the countryside and use a quarter tank of gas like she did 2 nights ago. But I did have money to buy the pain medications. Then I asked her when we ever did without a need? We often tell her no when she asks for an unnecessary item (like fast food) but we have yet to say there is no money when she needs something.

It is important that teens, especially, understand the difference between wants and needs so they can be good money managers. Self control with money is a big issue at this age. (Self control with anything, really!) To be able to understand and differentiate a want from a need is a very important tool for good money management.

The pain meds cost $6. Less than a fast food meal.